Channel Anger Into Balls

Bottom Line: When you're caught in the middle of some drama that has nothing to do with you, sometimes the best thing to do is take all that f'ed up fear you've had around the board and smack it down on the pavement, kick, and go.

No editing yourself. F'ed up sh*t always gives me a new set of cajones. And the feeling of running away from it (the same reason we turn up the music to deafening levels--to drown out the noise outside our heads as well as inside), is what gives me steam - to jump on, to try something crazy, to lose balance and not care, to not be perfect at any of the previous lessons, to hit a new level of confidence.

So next time you're afraid to just go go go, wait till you're really pissed about something. Balls will descend. Even on us ladies.

My Eyes Doth Deceive Me

I am always amazed at how I become a different person and *skater* after each session. My buddy calls it "time on the board." And like anything you practice, you're only going to get better with time.

On this particular night, we are skating back from one of our favorite school parking lots. The parking lot is good ground. The rest of the route is not. It's ridden with sidewalk cracks, uneven earth, valley faultlines, and tarred up crevasse. I like that last word.

As I skate, and try to gain speed, I realize that I am always stopped by the cracks! I mean, as soon as I see one coming, I just jump off the board prematurely, or start slowing down, knowing that if I don't, I'll be jolted off the board. It becomes super-annoying, and disrupts my flow.

Then, my skate buddy tries to push me over a crack as I approach it with speed. I get chickeny. "NO! I WON'T MAKE IT!" And of course, I don't.

But then, I think, "What if I don't know the cracks are coming? What if I close my eyes, or better yet, what if I see the cracks, and ignore what I *think* they're going to do to me, like force me off! What if I pretend they are just even ground...that I'm riding even ground all the way?"

I try it.

HOLY F'IN SMOKE! You won't believe the difference that made! Suddenly, with this new idea of what the cracks might or might not be, I just glide over them, like they're not even there!
In those moments, I am lightning speed, unstoppable, and victorious. And I am reminded of that quote that someone said..."When all you see is the goal, there are no obstacles."

The eyes suddenly become a liability to me during this aspect of skating. I have to skateboard as if the path in front of me is not the one I think it is, or want to avoid. But one that I can make up. Just. Like. That.

Damn that's deep!

Fall Off The Horse, Get Right Back On

My *skate buddy* and I have found this very cool place to go afterhours and "practice." Obviously he's been skating for a very long time. Me being his *cool new friend* I wanted to take up learning, as it's been a dormant desire of mine since I was 25 and moved out to LA.


So picture us in Agoura Hills. He's confidently cruising on his longboard. And I get to use his ex's short little board, with old ex's-ex's band stickers, dirty trucks and filthy wheels. But I give a new life to that board. I resurrect it.

I start to develop a quick confidence to keep my feet on the board while going down very mild slopes. My buddy teaches me how to psyche my ego out (as the ego is attached to safety at all costs, and will FORCE you off the board prematurely if he feels you're going too fast). You stand on that board, and you hone in on the ground, and you say to yourself, 'Stay on target... Stay on target..." Ah! Sometimes the ego wins. Other times, you let the Force carry you.

I realize that falling is inevitable. And there may be pain. Which is what I want to avoid. But the inevitable happens. And it doesn't even happen while I'm skateboarding! I decide to wheelbarrow (butt sitting on the board) down a realllly steep slope. Hands and feet all tucked in. I'm going, I'm going, I'm going like Bart Simpson, and then--it's too fast for me! So how do I brake? By throwing a hand, and a foot and a knee down onto the ground. Ouch! Bad idea.
Still not knowing how to brake, I tumble off and scrape up all aforementioned body parts, including rocking my spine a touch. Which is okay, because I think it actually threw things back into place. No need for hospitals. I'm alive!

As you can see, that even when we think we're safe...the ego still causes us to bail prematurely. This is the reason anybody ever "falls." So fight the fear. And get right back on.

Balance

It seems impossible at first. How do you stay on? What do you hang on to? What if you fall?

But if you just hop on, and have a caring friend hold you until you find your way...eventually they can let go and you can fly...even if for a moment.